Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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