I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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