I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize