Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
