Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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