I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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