so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude i'm inner monologue high
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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