Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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