small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
