erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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