is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
