I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
