Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
