Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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