Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
