Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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