I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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