you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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