Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
