erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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