He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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