"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
