Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
