? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
