Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
