we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
