Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
