I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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