I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
