At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize