are you so shy because you have an std?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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