I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
