he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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