Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
