Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's blow job season.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
