I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
