Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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