Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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