So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
