OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize