i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
