I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
