She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
