I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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