For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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