Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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