I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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