what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
