K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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