My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
