Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
