woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was a blind-side dick pic.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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