I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
