So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize