By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
