I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
