I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
