i was born a porn star she said
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
