Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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