in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
