Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
