just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize