honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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