it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
