worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
