anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
well you can't waste a boner
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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