I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
