At least make sure they are 18
Why
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
