Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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